theobiwan:

clamjob:

ifollowbadblogs:

If you cloned yourself and then got a handjob from your clone, is that incest, homosexual, or masturbation?

its a sin thats what it is

I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this.

(via lost-in-pink)

100,391 notes

untexting:

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one

(via redeemedangels)

94,890 notes

gnarly:

morning: laziness.

afternoon: dying for a rest.

night: can’t sleep

(via redeemedangels)

8,465 notes

keepfabandgayon:

sinkorswimisbullshit:

My mom told me to “find a man who respects you like a sea captain respects the sea.” A man who looks at you with awe and reverence but knows you are a force of nature. I like that.

(via amcook122)

405,498 notes

alpacalypse:

alpacalypse:

alpacalypse:

I GOT 10 MINUTES LEFT OF BEING A TEENAGER I GOTTA DO SOMETHING REBELLIOUS UH

guess who just put paper in the non-recycling. nnnnYEHAWH

Looking back on this as a 20 year old, I now realise how utterly irresponsible I behaved. I apologise. I have since removed the paper and put it in the recycling. I hope you can forgive me for my foolish and reckless behaviour. I can assure you it will not happen again. I am disgusted with myself.

(via the-fault-in-our-regards)

231,574 notes

exoticharry:

Do one direction know that their tour starts in 3 days

(Source: exoticharry, via paradoxmysocks)

10,498 notes